Sunday, February 19, 2012


Tonto Fielding recently went one on one in a debate with Margaret Witty-Wrong, leader of the Velvet Lizzies Social Club and Family Preservation Society, whose precept was “everything happens for a reason.”

I believed that I had won over the audience after making it perfectly clear that we should embrace a view where human spirituality is in a manner consistent with science and postmodern natural philosophy. This is a world view which gains nothing from theism or from atheism, both of which prefer to believe that they already know pretty much everything about the human world and how it works.

Witty-Wrong made a strong counter move by explaining to the audience that Tonto Fielding was a moral reprobate who had been banned from thirty six countries due to numerous reasons, including having taken part in several revolutions, smuggling, and several news worthy lecherous affairs that had brought down monarchies.

A deft move on her part, indeed.

But I threw her curveball that she was never able to recover from. I countered with the old Existentialism argument (centered upon the analysis of existence and of the way humans find themselves existing in the world). I explained how choices become unique without the necessity of any objective form of truth. This is a strategy Tonto will resort to, simply because I like to win arguments.

I could only smile, because I had won the point by using two completely opposing philosophies. Poor Margaret was so steamed by this time, she cried “Foul,” and threw her cup of tea in my face..

Finally, the issue of whether small dogs and large dogs should be permitted to commingle in the newly proposed Dog Park, was voted on by the council.

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