Tonto recently gave testimony at a parole hearing for Solomon Barsad, concerning the unconscionable umbrage he produced in our community when he and his partner, Joe (the fat boy) Jeddler, were unmasked for the heinous crime of rigging the annual Halloween Costume competition. I knew something was afoul when a Charles II costume had been awarded the Blue Ribbon. The color orange is usually frowned upon by judges when considering Restoration attire. They tend to favor deep-toned velvet and satin in red, blue, yellow and green. My testimony, I hope was helpful in this matter. If he ever gets out, though, he better stay clear of these parts. A cauldron of hot tar and a bag of feathers wait.
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