Tonto was placed in advanced college physics classes when I was only thirteen years old, because it was discovered that I had the IQ of a genius. Dr. Funguloid’s lecture on Wave Particle Duality (where it is obvious to any idiot that waves exhibit particle-like properties and particles exhibit wave-like properties), failed to capture my attention. I mean, any dunce could tell you that dribble. No—Tonto’s thoughts were focused on burying my head between sexy graduate assistant, Miss Haversham’s, exquisite, perky breasts. Common’ man…ever hear of hormones.
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