French Foreign Legion

I remember the time I went AWOL from the French Foreign Legion. In fact, I was in contract talks about movie rights (after regaling my stories one night at a poker game at Spielberg's house), but got cold feet when they hinted at changing my character to a woman (to be played by Sherilyn Fenn, in a Lifetime movie) who escapes from an abusive husband at a Beaches Resort in Negril, Jamaica, instead of the scorpion infested dunes of El Oued.