Shake Well!

Tonto has been brought in as a Resolution Mediator, by the Egyptian Military. Having built a reputation from when I was considered the premier bartender at the Club Privé in Badrutts Palace, the top members of the Intelligence arm have asked me to determine which the best recipe for a perfect Tom Collins is. After serving up some of my signature cocktails, I asked what was happening in Tahir Square. One of the Generals raised his glass and said, “Some people see, and don't care... others don't see because they don't care... and a small percentage really....ooh, this a good Tom Collins.

Best Rugs, Cheap.

Anderson Cooper has no clue as to what the people are up to in Egypt. CNN should hire me as a consultant. You know…the way they have those retired Generals yapping about Afghanistan. Tonto spent some time peddling knock-off Persian rugs on the streets of Cairo. I truly had my finger on the pulse of the people at that time, and have somewhat of a pretty good sense of what the common man there wants. I must say that the pundits have it all wrong. What the crowds really want, is not necessarily Western style democracy, but just access to the same stuff we have in the West—like decent strip bars, drive-through margarita shops, McDonalds free Wi-Fi, and unscrambled soft porn on cable. That’s it!