The Siege

One of the family stories, told at every Fielding family reunion, involves Sir Archamboud-on-Fielding, one of the more flamboyant members on the family tree. It was during the dark years of Kings and dragons. Hearing that there was a young maiden held prisoner in the tower of his rival, Lord Doolin of Panting Castle, he undertook a siege to rescue her.

At first, he set up a long-term encampment at a safe distance from the castle's long-range catapults and crossbows. Sir Tonto then used his own heavy weapons such as battering rams, catapults, trebuchets and towers to breach the walls. But this was all a diversion. His master plan was to come from underneath. Miners found a weak point in the castle's wall, and tunneled under the foundation. They were then able to first take the gatehouse, then the castle's bailey, followed by its towers and the keep. With the hand-to-hand combat that followed, heavy losses were suffered on both sides.

When the men presented the rescued prize to their lord, Sir Archamboud-on-Fielding, known to his closest circle as Archie-on-Wenches, he discovered that she was so ugly that even his favorite hound hid under the desk.
This is when his forces undertook a second siege, in order to return her. As it turned out, it was all an elaborate rouse. Lord Doolin had let Archamboud win the first battle. The second was a total failure and the Fielding clan has never been able to live this page in history down.

Those damned Doolins still like to rub our noses in it.